Fuck Outside Noise: A Love Letter to Finding Myself
"Quiet the World, Amplify You: Finding Purpose Through Faith, Fellowship, and Flowers"
You ever feel like the whole world got something to say about who you are? What you should do? How you should do it? Yeah, me too. But after 39 years on this earth, I’m finally clear. Finally steady. Finally free. I’m understanding who I really am in this world. Not the version people painted for me, not the girl trying to squeeze herself into the box society built—but the woman God made me to be. And let me tell you, she’s not taking prisoners.
I’ve always had a passion for people. Always. For the longest time, I didn’t even understand it. I thought something was wrong with me—like why does being around people light me up like a 90s block party on a Friday night? Then I became a server, and it was like, Oh… so THIS is my lane. Serving people, loving on them with a plate of good food in one hand and a smile in the other—it was heaven on earth.
But just when I thought I had it all figured out, flowers came into my life. Out of nowhere, like a summer rainstorm, they showed up. And it wasn’t just a fling—it was love. Real love. The kind of love where you start imagining a future, planning what your kids' names are gonna be, and calling your best friend to say, “Girl, I think this is it.”
But here’s the thing: people were still my first love. After God, it’s always been people. Then came the flowers. And then Faith, Fellowship, and Flowers. And that? That was the moment everything clicked. It was like God whispered, “This is it, sis. This is the lane I built just for you.”
But people… oh, people. They always got opinions, don’t they? Folks started calling me a florist, and I’m like, Hold up now. That don’t feel right. I love flowers, sure, but this ain’t just about flowers. It’s about bringing people together in the presence of God, surrounded by beauty. It’s about fellowship, connection, and joy. But nobody seemed to get it.
I tried twice to build something that honored my love for faith, fellowship, and flowers, and both times? I failed. Not because it wasn’t the right vision, but because I was too busy listening to them instead of me. I let their voices drown out mine. “That doesn’t make sense.” “You’re doing too much.” “Just stick to being a florist.”
But here’s the gag: when you start quieting the noise, that’s when you really start to hear yourself. And this time? I did just that. I shut them all out, leaned into my own voice, and listened. And guess what? My inner child—the girl who loved people, loved beauty, and loved God—is out here leaping. She’s throwing her hands up in pure joy because she knows, This is it.
This isn’t about proving anyone wrong; it’s about proving myself right. When I stopped letting people’s doubts become my doubts, I found the stillness of joy. The kind of joy that feels like sunshine on your face and a good ol’ 90s R&B groove in your ears. The joy that says, This is who you are. Stand in it.
So let this be your reminder, your push, your sign. Stop letting the world talk over your inner voice. Stop letting people dictate the soundtrack to your life. Turn it off, turn you up, and move to your own beat. That’s where the joy is. That’s where the magic happens.
And if you’re reading this like, “Duh, I already know this”—cool. But are you doing it?
Because when you do, trust me, it’s like God, faith, fellowship, and flowers all dancing in perfect harmony.
“I got this.” And baby, you do.
Now go be loud about it.